Soon, I begin to feel like there is no point of being here. Why am I here and he isn't? He was just a baby, he didn't deserve it. He needs me. One night when my boyfriend is sleeping I went into the coat closet and hung myself.

He heard me convulsing after passing out. He cut me down.

After I awoke, he punched me right in the face and called me a stupid bitch.

People continue telling me that he is in a better place. A better place? HE IS F**KING DEAD, HOW IS THAT A BETTER PLACE, would scream in my head every time.

Things continued and I isolated myself further, I didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t work, didnt visit my family. I just couldn’t go on. I finally went to visit my family. I tried again in my sister’s closet.

Again I am saved.

My neck had gashes in it from the piece of string I used.

I just kept living, and soon I began to accept it after returning to work and opening back up again. I still thought in my mind that there was really no point, and I had no motivation to do anything extra.

But after years, I started to heal and begin to talk about it. I start going to see a counselor. That helped me more that you will ever know. I can so understand how losing a loved one makes you feel like you shouldn’t be living, but you should.

Now I have a good career, a great boyfriend, a cute dog. And I have faith in myself. If I could get through that, I can get through anything. I am so glad that I never succeeded in taking my life.

If anyone ever needs someone just to listen, please message me. You can get through ANYTHING! I know that I thought I could never live again, and now I appreciate every moment of my life. If we keep killing ourselves, we are not breaking the cycle, the cycle of guilt and depression will simply be passed on to someone else when you leave. Please don’t do it.